Proposals Looming

Almost two weeks ago Erin, Alexis, and I received an e-mail about the Senior Capstone Experience (actually, Alexis didn't receive it, but I always check to see who besides me an e-mail has been sent to, so I realized that Alexis was missing from the list, was concerned that she would be uninformed and would not graduate and would have to become a shoe-shiner, and forwarded it to her). I saw the e-mail before Erin because I check my e-mail thirty seven times a day and ran into her room whining, "Erin, Erin, have you checked your e-mail?" Then I laid on her floor looking traumatized while she read the e-mail, and we proceeded to panic together.

Erin and I have been discussing our impending theses all year. The word thesis has frightened me since I was a freshman. All year we have been enormously aware of the April thesis proposal deadline for those of us who will be seniors next year (and who are not taking comps. like Alexis, although we don't blame her because she has a double major with math (I know what you're thinking, and yes she did need that e-mail I forwarded her; it was for comps. too.)). Erin and I have also been quite aware of the fact that we would need topics and advisors before April, and we have been talking about what our topics might be all year.

But actually finding an e-mail in our inboxes meant April is soon. I've been saying that April was soon since we got back from Winter Break. Erin has been denying it, but it's true. April is soon. It takes me a month to write a paper. I can't imagine how long I'll need to write something as important as a thesis proposal. I better start last year.

So, I met with Professor Moncrief who is the chair of our English department, and I said that I really like Tom Stoppard. (It's true. I really like Tom Stoppard.) She said that either she or Professor Cousineau would probably be the best advisor for Tom Stoppard, depending on whether I wanted to focus more on the drama side of things or the modern English literature side. So, because she said I should, I talked to Professor Cousineau (meaning that I have talked to not one but two professors this week, which I generally try to avoid as I am afraid of professors, figures of authority, and grown-ups in general).

Professor Cousineau said that the best advisor for Tom Stoppard would be Professor Volansky in the drama department. Am I being shunned by the English department? I wondered. I didn't realize that advisors from other departments were an option. I have long worried that when it came time for theses no one would want to be my advisor. I mean, I'm not really the kind of student that professors like. I never participate in class voluntarily and when asked a question I generally forget how to communicate. Really, now that the time is near, I think there is a good chance that I will not be able to find an advisor.

I haven't had very good luck with academic advisors. Not that I haven't liked them, I just haven't kept any of them for very long. Or they haven't kept me. The same thing happened to me with guidance counselors in middle school and high school. Nearly every one of my guidance counselors retired the year I had them, except for one who went to a different school. It's kind of funny and I know it has nothing to do with me, but it's also kind of annoying.

Professor Moncrief thought that Professor Volansky was a good idea too, so I sent her an e-mail. But I don't really see why she would agree to work with me when she probably has drama majors to advise and also when I had CNW (which is a class freshman have to take) with her and she probably already thinks I'm dumb from that because, like I said, I don't make a very good impression in class. I never say anything smart in class and if I say anything at all it's probably something weird. I don't mean to be so weird, but weird things just come out of my mouth (like frogs). I'm worried.

Erin is worried too. She is trying to do a combine thesis for sociology and English using the book 1984. Apparently, the sociology department is with her on it, but the English department is not. She's having trouble finding an English advisor. I said maybe she could get one from the music department or something.

I am actually really excited about writing my thesis because I like writing research papers, and I hope I get to stick with Tom Stoppard because I think he is probably the smartest person alive. I just need an advisor. And an argument. But I'd feel better if I had an advisor.



Side note: Senior Capstone Experience sounds really weird to me. Capstone makes me think of headstone (maybe because it has the word senior in front of it and old people die a lot), and experience sounds like... actually, I don't know what it sounds like, but it doesn't sound like a test or a paper.